Advanced Grief

A Loss and Greif Symposium

According to Rev. Rosalynn Curry, "The experience of loss at any time of life triggers a moment of preoccupation with self that is necessary for Psychosocial survival. At a moment of significant loss needs for sustenance and protection mount sharply and are often left unsatisfied". In this post, I will talk about the six major types of losses

1. Material

2. relationship

3. Intrapsychic

4. Functional

5. Role loss

6. Systemic

" Necessary Losses"

For we lose not only through death but also by leaving and being left, by changing and letting go and moving on. And our losses included not only our separations and departures from those we love but our conscious and unconscious illusions of freedom and power, illusions of safety, and the loss of our own younger self, the self that thought it would be unwrinkled and invulnerable and immoral.

...... author Judith Viorst

Material Loss:

The loss of physical objects or familiar surrounding to which one has an important attachment can cause great distress. Objects can have an extrinsic value attached to another human being whom we love causing the deepest pain when lost. Even when we replace the object it is not the same as the original. The fact that some material losses are replaceable may mask the grief reaction accompanying any loss. The grief may show through only in the sense that replacement is never quite the same.

Over the summer of 2022, I moved into my apartment. Before then I had been living from pillow to post for a while because of school, internships, and jobs outside of the state. As a result, I lived outside of a suitcase, literally and I kept all of my important things in my car. Finally, I found a beautiful apartment and moved everything I have accumulated over the years into it. My car was finally empty, I went shopping for some new things that week and the day I moved into my place. I could not wait to begin decorating. I decided not to stay at my home the first night and went back to my hotel. The next morning I got up bright and early and happily went to my beautiful apartment and everything was Gone! Every single thing. All of my important documents, my clothes, my shoes, important items, memories of my children, and the new things I brought, etc.

Long story short the cleaning people came into the wrong apartment (my apartment} and throw everything away. I felt robbed physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I was hurt shocked and disappointed. My joy was drowning. The Bible says in John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy,"

At that moment I had to make a decision and the decision was not to allow the devil to steal my focus or my joy. I had to convert back to what I knew, quickly. Yes, I was very upset. But I knew who was behind it and I was fully aware that he is a thief. The thief wasn't concerned about my things he wanted my peace, he wanted my mind he wanted to paralyze my praise. He knew when I got into my house that my worship and my prayer life were going to be off the charts. He knew I was waiting for a space to just let go in outside of my car. He knew I could not wait to decorate, take super long baths and enjoy some privacy for once in a very long time. Nevertheless, I was reminded of the word that says, Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold" the enemy is looking for an entrance through people hurt, disappointments, offense, tragic situations, grief, betrayal. etc.

We as believers must always convert back to what we believe. I know this is way easier said than done but the more we do it (turn to God and His word) the more automatic it becomes. Let us look at another scripture in John chapter 10:10 about the true Shepard. let's put this scripture into context. In chapter 10 Jesus is responding to the same event from chapter 9. Chapter 9 is about a man born blind who became a beggar and Jesus gave him his sight. And the rulers of Israel confronted Jesus concerning this. They hated Jesus and showed contempt for the beggar. They throw the beggar out and intended to kill Jesus. What is the enemy trying to kill, steal or destroy in our life that Jesus has set us free from? The enemy loves when we can't see, like the beggar. He loves to keep us in some form of bondage, 0r unforgiveness, selfishness, or sadness. In John 10 the leaders of Israel were false prophets, thieves, and robbers. What is falsely taking a hold of you or me or our possessions or our focus? What have we given the devil a "foothold" to in our life because of someone or something? Material grief is undeniable and I pray that anyone who has experienced this recovers mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I pray for your peace. I pray that you forgive. And I declare John 10:10, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly" Amen.

Chaplain Kenya Anderson